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Jennifer, Me and God


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Jennifer, Me and God

On November 29, 1984, my dog Bethany gave birth to her first litter of puppies. I had waited for this experience all of my life. From the time I was a small child, I had wanted to raise registered, show quality, black poodles. Bethany was destined to give me this opportunity five times.

That day, Bethany presented me with three little girls. Two of the puppies were normal sized toy poodle puppies. The third puppy was a tiny field mouse sized runt. I called her Jennifer.

From the very beginning Jennifer didn't stay with the rest of her litter. She was always off to one side of the whelping box. I knew this was nature's way of letting the weak babies die. But I just couldn't let that happen. I made sure that the temperature in Jennifer's environment was exactly right night and day. I stimulated her heart and appetite several times a day with a little drop of honey and brandy. Before she could suck, I took a little of Bethany's milk and fed her every hour with an eye dropper and later put her on Bethany by herself every two hours.

Jennifer lived and before her eyes or ears were completely opened, she crawled to me when I called "Jennifer

At three weeks, I built a little incubator for Jennifer in my bed. It kept her temperature just right at night and she could curl up to the top of my head to sleep. During the day I put her with her sisters to socialize, but I watched her constantly so she wouldn't get hurt.

Jennifer grew up and weighed a hefty 2 pounds 8 ounces. Her sisters had been sold and Jennifer became my constant companion. I carried her everywhere. She had long thin legs and stood 8 inches tall. She looked like a tiny fragile deer with soft brown eyes.

I loved her with all my heart and she loved me with all her heart. It didn't matter whether I was grouchy or cheerful, depressed or exuberant. Jennifer loved me all of the time and she lived happily within my protection.

During piano lessons Jennifer slept on top of the piano in a wire bird box. She was completely protected but could see everywhere. My students loved her.

At night I would examine all of her, hold her close and marvel at how wonderfully she was made.

One beautiful July day when Jennifer was 4 1/2, Bethany and she were romping and playing with complete abandonment on our 5 acre lawn. They were so funny I laughed and laughed.

But then they got near our property line and I could see our neighbor's horse watching them, too.

I called to them and they responded immediately. Jennifer turned in a rather wide arc and went through the edge of our neighbor's field and ran into their wire mesh on the wrong side of the pasture. She tried to get out, but by that time the horse had deliberately cornered her and was trying to trample her.

I ran to the fence and tried to get her through for what seemed an eternity, but the mesh was too small and the horse too aggressive. I screamed and screamed and tried to hit the horse, but I couldn't stop him and I couldn't get over the fence. Finally he tramped on Jennifer and the neighbors arrived and handed me her body. I raced to the Vet's, but she died in my arms. I think I died with her.

It has been many years now that Jennifer is gone and the pain has just not gone away. I've asked and asked God why this all had to happen. If she had to die so soon, why was she ever born? She was more precious to me than gold.

But now, after so much time has passed, new thoughts have entered my mind and I wonder if this is what God has to say:

If I loved Jennifer so overwhelmingly, can I even begin to imagine how much God loves me? I feel totally useless most of the time. But wasn't Jennifer basically useless? She never physically accomplished anything. She just was . . . . . . . . . . and I loved her with all my heart. My need for her existence was reason enough for her to live and broke my heart when she died too soon.

Is that what God is saying to me? He knows how many hairs I have on my head. He has examined me so close. He created me because He was lonely. My existence was planned and nurtured. I m frail and useless so He carries me everywhere. He has a plan for my life and wants me to live. In fact, He loves me so much that He doesn't want me to die early. It would break His heart. He even sent His Son to die in my place.

. . . . . . . I didn't love Jennifer that much.


Last edited by Susa, 8/17/2017, 2:04 pm


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8/13/2006, 9:38 pm Link to this post Send PM to Susa Blog
 
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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


Beautifully said, Susa!!! Beautiful!

Yes, we must remember how He does care and forgive us constantly!

Thank you!

Pat...

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


I read this and then read it to my wife. The reason is that around seventeen years ago my wife lost a tea-cup poodle that was almost the spitting image of "Jennifer". She had had the little dog, "Peeper" for about seven years and was Dee's constant companion everywhere. He would even curl up next to Dee's hair at night if given the chance! He had been mistreated by his first owner's boyfriend and it took quite awhile for the dog to even tolerate me. Dee would take him (in her coat pocket) almost everywhere. One day Peeper fell over and was having trouble breathing, we rushed him to the Vets and the Vet wanted to keep him overnight and did. Later he called and Peeper had passed away. He decided that it was a heart attack. To this very day, Dee thinks of her dog (as I do "Brandy") almost every day and wishes that everyone could have a dog, cat, companion that loved and was loved as much as some love their pets..... :dog

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1/29/2007, 1:47 pm Link to this post Send Email to irishmick3   Send PM to irishmick3
 
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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


 :hug 's Dee. :hug 's Mick.



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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


Wow that touched me.
I want to share this I copied it from another place.
 :dog
Why Do Dogs Not Live As Long As People?

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old dog named Spot. The dog's owners, Bob, his wife, Jane, and their little boy, Josh, were all very attached to Spot and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Spot and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family there were no miracles left for Spot, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Bob and Jane told me they thought it would be good for the four-year-old Josh to observe the procedure.
They felt as though Josh might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Spot's family surrounded him. Josh seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Spot slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Spot's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

We sat together for a while after Spot's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Josh,
who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why." Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life --like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."




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3/31/2007, 12:51 am Link to this post Send Email to LadyDy   Send PM to LadyDy Blog
 
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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


LadyDy, that was just beautiful! Thank you for posting.



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3/31/2007, 8:14 am Link to this post Send PM to Susa Blog
 
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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


I had not read this post for a long time and am sure glad that LadyDy posted on [sign in to see URL]'s initial post was once again beautiful and moving. It brought back sad memories of the loss of "Peeper" and "Brandy". It sure is nice to have had a very extra close animal in one's life at least once. We all love our pets but in hindsight we are very lucky if we have at least one very special one!!.. :dog

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


aw the story brought tears to my eyes I to had to put my beloved pet down last summer she was 14 years I knew it was time for her to go. but its the parting its so hard. but then I got sophie and she is the love of my life she is a very special puppy she is a shihitzu , thanks for posting .....
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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


My Indy died last year and it has been very hard on me and his mom, Bastet. He was a gray and white tuxedo cat and so handsome and such a character. I still think I see him sometimes.

These posts have been such a comfort to me, even if they did make me bawl like baby. :rose
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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


 :hug 's Gaia.



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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


I am sure that none of us forget any of our pets, well I know I don`t, and they are always with us [sign in to see URL] sad. but a comfort too...

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


I am sitting here in a pool of tears feeling the pain you must have felt..... ........
5/24/2010, 2:04 am Link to this post Send Email to shurld   Send PM to shurld
 
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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


Thank you so much, Shirley. I will never forget my dear Jennifer.




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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


So sad brought tears to my eyes.

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that was such a good story tears in my eyes.....
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Thank you, Shirley.

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


That is a good story. I cried. You are a great mother Susa emoticon
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Thank you, Brian. She was a precious little dog.

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Yes, we cry with you Susan.

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


 emoticon

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


I will never get over losing any of my wonderful pets. So special, everyone.

Even the wonderful memories don't seem to replace the empty place I have for them in my heart. emoticon

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oh gosh... again I was meant to return here.

Bridie has a problem with her kidneys.. not sure what is happening yet, but I fear.....

now I am in a freful of tears again, reading all these posts

how do we bear it?

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Oh, Nanny. Kidney issues are very, very serious. I am praying for her. Please keep me up to date on this. My heart goes out to you both.

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6/5/2017, 10:06 am Link to this post Send PM to Susa Blog
 
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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


Oh [sign in to see URL] heart goes out to you and Bridie. emoticon
Kidney's are very serious. It happens more often than we [sign in to see URL] 9 in 1,000 get it some time in their life. Depending on how early it was [sign in to see URL] can live for months, or many, many years. Chronic renal (kidney) failure cannot be reversed or cured, treatment and management aimed at reducing the contributing factors and symptoms can slow its progression.
Did your vet put Bridie on a special diet?
Here is a link for some "treatment" for it.
for Kidney Failure in Dogs

[sign in to see URL] is what killed our Sheltie, Darcy Farrow. emoticon


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I am finding that I cannot talk about her without descending into tears again.

so.. yes, no firm prognosis, the vet said to have another blood test in perhaps 4 months, but not to hesitate in going back to her if I feel the need

she is sleeping more, and not quite so boisterous, but when she barks at things, Jim and I celebrate, she has a small "paddling pool" that she enjoys also, so not all bad.

hard to get her to eat, she is on appetite enhancers, which seems to help. I am making her food, minced beef, (low fat) and just made some turkey mince,, both with added vegetables,, as she wouldn`t take the prescribed diet food.

also have some Nelio I think that is for bp..

and Pronefra , that is to add the stuff that the diet food would provide.

waiting on delivery of some vitamin tablets

she is only 10 years old,, which to my mind is not any great age, but then...

I just cannot imagine how I shall live without her,, she is my shadow, literally,, by that I mean she is where ever I go ... upstairs, not in the bathroom! and peeps round the door when I use the downstairs toilet and don`t close the door... just as an example...

if I wake up in the night and come downstairs she follows,

I am quite distraught... Jim says my crying will ease,, I hate crying...

so o.k. that`s me...

Susan it helped to read again about Jennifer, not sure why but it did..

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


 emoticon 's to you dear Nanny. I am very glad that Jennifer is helping. You cry all you need to. Tears are cleansing.

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6/8/2017, 10:30 am Link to this post Send PM to Susa Blog
 
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You cry, talk, even scream at how unfair it all is. Better to get it out, that try to keep it in. All that gets you is an [sign in to see URL] that one from experience. emoticon

quote:

hard to get her to eat, she is on appetite enhancers, which seems to help. I am making her food, minced beef, (low fat) and just made some turkey mince,, both with added vegetables,, as she wouldn`t take the prescribed diet food.



That holistic veterinarian I saw gave me a diet too.

1 pound Ground turkey [sign in to see URL] well done. And drained REALLY [sign in to see URL] take two 16oz cans of MIXED vegetables. Mix with the ground cooked [sign in to see URL] got a 1 cup for dinner. And 1 cup for breakfast. No doggy treats, and no people food.

I saw a big change in [sign in to see URL] I said, she was just sleeping, not showing much interest in the things she [sign in to see URL] about a month on that diet, she wanted to follow Dad about, she wanted to play ball....(she could not play as long) and she wanted to go for walkies again.

I used the generic version of these vegetables:
vegetable...

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well Bridie doesn`t seem so keen on the turkey, she has been having minced beef.
I add some cabbage and carrots.. sweet corn.. and slow cook it.
thanks Queeny, and Susan..

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


You are welcome Nanny. I think doc told me the Turkey was less fatty, so better for her kidneys and her liver, as it was failing too.
Darcy did not care for the Turkey [sign in to see URL] she eventually got used to it and then she was SO [sign in to see URL] she started feeling better, that she would get so excited when it was time to [sign in to see URL] be spinning circles! So cute....
 emoticon

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Re: Jennifer, Me and God


I have just read all the beautiful posts. I am sad because I know that Bridie has gone and what Nanny went through. emoticon

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